Lost
by ZaKai
Summary: On a wet, cloudy day, General Roy Mustang prepares to sail back to Amestris when he finds himself confronted with someone from his past. . . [RoyAlphonse, mentions of past RoyEd] Technically Complete
1. The Sea

**A/N:** This story is for the 7stages community  
on LiveJournal. I'd just like to thank cuylerjade  
because if it hadn't been for her recruiting me  
I never would have come up with this story.

**A/N #2:** You may have noticed that the summary  
says 'complete', yet there are only 6 chapters.  
The reason is because if this wasn't for a challenge  
I would end it on chapter 6, but I need to have 7  
chapters, so eventually there will be a prologue,  
but as far as I'm concerned, chapter 6 is the end.

**-**

**Lost**

**1 of 7**

**The Sea**

**-**

Roy folded his arms and leaned against the heavy wooden post, looking out over the beach. Normally he loved to look at the ocean and see how the sun made the water sparkle and shimmer. There was just something about seeing the vastness of the sea extend out to what seemed like the end of the earth. The sound of the waves crashing against the sand... the boats... the wharf... It was normally so calming and peaceful...

Today though, the sun was blocked by a mass of gray clouds and the wet air felt heavier than usual. The sea didn't sparkle today. Instead it was dull, crashing almost angrily against the docks and the boats stationed there as if the sea were in a bad mood.

Perhaps it was.

Looking at the ocean was one thing, having to actually get on a boat and sail on it was another. Roy didn't much care for the rocking of boats, but today he was sailing whether he liked it or not. The sailors didn't seem too thrilled about sailing today either, but they all seemed to agree that the weather would out blow itself without too much of a storm.

A small lock of his black bangs fluttered against the corner of his eye and he reached up and absentmindedly brushed at it. The normally soft fine hair, stiff and gritty feeling in the salty breeze.

Roy sighed. He hadn't wanted to be the ambassador to the country on Amestris's western side, but it had gotten him a lovely promotion, so he'd agreed. He'd been gone over three years and now he was going home. It wouldn't be the same, he knew. He'd matured in a way he'd never thought possible. He no longer had the driving urge to become Fuhrer, which was good given that there was no Fuhrer anymore. He'd learned not to procrastinate what had to be done. This was something Hawkeye would be surprised at, if she ended up working under him again. He was more thoughtful, and not as quick to react.

He turned his face to feel the cool, salty breeze and breathed it in deeply. He'd never known the sea before this assignment, and he'd come to love being around it. Now he was going back to the city, then maybe back to the East. Back to sand and rocks, back to the dry sterile heat of the country he'd grown up in. Soon he'd board the ship and make the voyage back, and now that it was time, he wasn't sure he wanted to go...

Roy opened his eyes and scanned his surrounding taking in the docked boats, the wharf, the sand... Suddenly his gaze caught on someone standing on one of the docks and his breath stopped for a moment.

The person was on the short side, with long hair pulled into a ponytail. A full red coat with a black flamel drawn on the back sat on a lanky frame, and both the hair and the coat fluttered slightly in the salty breeze. Roy's heart pounded in his chest as he stepped away from the post he'd been leaning on and started walking toward the dock.

As he got closer, Roy realized with a sinking feeling that the long hair was a sandy color, not golden... It had been five years since Ed had disappeared and for a moment Roy wanted to believe that was him, and rush to his side.

But he knew it wasn't.

He'd heard, in passing, that Alphonse had taken to being his brother's reflection and was searching for him. Seeing the boy by himself caused Roy's heart to drop. If he was alone, then that meant he hadn't found his brother yet...

Roy sighed and almost turned away. He didn't want to deal with the pain of facing an Alphonse who didn't remember him or look at someone dressed so similar to Ed, but he didn't. He couldn't. Not now when he was so close. Alphonse may not have been his physical lover, but emotionally...

His boots made a clunking noise as he walked across the wooden dock to where the teen was standing. As he approached, Roy studied him more closely. He'd never seen Alphonse Elric in his body and it was a rather intriguing sight. Alphonse, probably fifteen if his calculations were correct, may have been wearing Ed's clothes, but he was definitely not Ed. The younger of the two Elrics had a taller, thinner frame than Ed had at that age. Despite Ed's lack of height, he'd been well built, so the clothes didn't quite sit right on Alphonse's lanker frame and it was obvious that the pants had been extended to fit his, now taller, body.

Alphonse turned and glanced at him as he approached, and Roy could see that he had a gentleness in his face that Ed had lacked. Oh, Ed had possessed a kind soul but he held himself differently. He'd had a tougher exterior. A prideful stubbornness that radiated from him like light from the sun, and what he'd shared with Ed had been just as brilliant and passionate.

With Alphonse, he'd shared a different kind of passion. It had been cool and subdued. They had talked, and shared ideas. He'd given the other Elric brother a different part of himself, an intellectual and emotional part that hadn't been blocked by their physical differences.

Perhaps that's why he'd been so reluctant to go see the boy when he'd heard what had happened. That part of him had been lost with his memory, just as much as Edward was physically lost. He couldn't have expected him to have the same understanding and depth that he'd had during those years...

"Good morning," Roy said loudly over the sounds of the sea and the nearby sailors.

The teen quickly looked him up and down, taking in his military uniform, before saying, "Good morning to you too, sir."

A soft smile touched Roy's lips. During the time that Alphonse's soul had resided inside of the armor, his voice had never altered. It had always remained that of a ten-year-old. Now, however, the boy's voice had changed. It was very similar, yet deeper and more mature. It also lacked the hollowness it had possessed during those former years.

Suddenly, Roy regretted refusing to visit the Elric boy after Ed's disappearance. This Alphonse didn't know him at all, and it suddenly saddened him to think he'd been so neglectful of his emotional lover, even if the teen had no memory of him.

Alphonse continued to stare at him expectantly and finally Roy said, "The sea is a beautiful woman, isn't she."

The teen cocked his head, giving him a look that said he thought Roy was a bit off his rocker. "I suppose so, but beautiful women tend to be dangerous if favorable winds aren't blowing for them..."

Roy looked down at the teen in surprise, then laughed. It was an answer he would have expected from Alphonse... from before... "Very insightful," he said, then gazed out over the water. Perhaps the boy hadn't changed as much as he'd thought... Perhaps... He was silent for a time, then asked, "Have you found what you're looking for?"

He felt, more than saw, Alphonse's head snap up before the teen said quietly, "No..."

"I see..." Roy murmured, a feeling of disappointment washing over him. He hadn't realized until that moment that he'd had his hopes up. It would have been wonderful to have Ed back in his arms again. Not only that, but perhaps if he got to know this Alphonse, they could have something like they'd had before... Together, the two brothers had fulfilled him. Ed had given him what he needed physically, and Alphonse had been what he'd needed emotionally.

He watched the waves in silence for a time and finally he glanced back down at Alphonse. The teen was watching him with large, liquid-brown eyes and when the boy saw that he had Roy's attention, he asked hopefully, "Do you know me...?"

Roy stared down at the teen without expression for a moment. How cruel life was... He could lie, but the Alphonse he'd known treasured the truth and wouldn't appreciate getting anything but that. "No," he whispered. "I don't know you."

"Oh..." Alphonse said disappointedly, then turned his attention to the boats.

Roy watched him for a moment. Alphonse's long hair, tangled and a bit stiff from the salty spray, whipped around in the strengthening wind, and some of it blew across the teen's face. "I once knew someone like you, though," he said softly. Alphonse turned his head again, causing the hair to blow back behind him, and stared up at him hopefully. "His soul was attached to a suit of armor," Roy continued. "And he traveled with his older brother. _That_ _person_, I knew quite well..." He trailed off for a moment before whispering, "But, I'm ashamed to say that I don't know _you_."

Hurt filled the teen's eyes and he looked away. "I see..."

The sound of a boat whistle caught Roy's ears and he said, "I suppose it's time for me to go. Good luck with your search." He turned and started walking away, but stopped when he heard the teen call to him.

"Wait." Roy turned and with a pleading look, Alphonse said, "Will you tell me your name? Please?"

Not an unreasonable request, and definitely one to be understood, but suddenly Roy didn't want to give his name. He wanted to remain anonymous in Alphonse's life. He didn't know if he could handle being known by the teen in such a passing way. Turning around, he took a few steps, then stopped. It was cruel of him to leave like that and not give him such a small thing. Truly it was... Alphonse deserved more from him, but he was only asking that small little bit. He glanced back at the teen and said softly, "Roy Mustang."

He saw Alphonse's eyes widen a little, but turned around and started walking away before anything more could be said. He didn't know what Alphonse knew about him, and he didn't want to know. It was better that way. Better not to get involved because it hurt so much to see Alphonse standing before him like that, looking so much like Edward and sounding so much like his old self...

He wanted to reach out and hold him close. He wanted to kiss him and be with him in the way he had with Ed.

But this was Alphonse, and not even the Alphonse that he knew.

He wasn't Edward.

He could never be Edward.

Perhaps, if fate was willing, he could have what he'd had with Alphonse again, but to try getting from the teen what he'd had with his brother would be unfair. It would be asking too much, when he already had nothing.

No.

Better just to walk away.

Better just to forget.

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I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I'm satisfied with it. :) 

--

**Please Review**


	2. Glass Moon

**-**

**Lost**

**2 of 7**

**Glass Moon**

**-**

Alphonse leaned heavily against the side of the large boat and stared dully down into the deep water below the ship. The ocean crashed dully against the boat as it moved ever forward to its destination, and he felt slightly comforted by the rocking of the boat. He let his gaze move away from the water near the boat to the sea beyond. The full moon reflected brightly down on the water, causing it to sparkle. It was beautiful. Mesmerizing...

He sighed and laid his cheek against the wood, letting his eyes follow the small lines in the lumber. He'd followed the man without thinking and now he was on a ship set for Amestris. It hadn't been his intention, but... He'd heard the name 'Roy Mustang' before in passing. He knew the man had been his brother's commanding officer, but other than that, he knew nothing. From time to time, he'd entertained the idea of visiting the man, but he'd never gone through with it.

Alphonse traced a gloved finger over the heavy wood of the ship as he thought. During the time he was in Rizembool, and then in Dublith, many people had come to see him. People he didn't know, but people who had known him from before and had wanted him to know they were there for him if he needed anything.

Roy Mustang was the one person who hadn't done that, and he remembered hearing Winry say some very unkind words about the man in regard to that, but at the time he hadn't really cared. He didn't know this 'Mustang' character, and if he didn't want to visit, it didn't bother him.

Now though... Now he'd seen the man... He'd talked, however briefly, with him and now Alphonse was incredibly curious. Over the past five years, he'd had some distant belief that perhaps his brother and his commanding officer hadn't gotten along, that they'd hated each other. This provided a very plausible explanation as to why the man wouldn't want to see him. But when he'd talked with Mustang today...

Those black eyes hadn't spoken of hate, but of caring and worry. The man's voice had been filled with regret, and Al was sure that it wasn't only for the fact that Ed hadn't been found. In that moment, he thought that perhaps this man hadn't come to see him because he cared _too_ much. It made him ashamed for some of the things he'd believed about him...

So here he was, on this ship... He'd quickly paid for a common bunk before they'd set off and had looked around all day trying to find Mustang, but with no success. It was only after most of the day that he realized the rank the other man had held was no common soldier. He'd had the stripes and stars of a general... of course he wouldn't have a bunk in the common sleep area... Most likely the man had his own cabin, and he dined with the ship captain, and...

Despair filled him and he lifted his head to stare up at the glassy, silver moon. He wasn't sure what he'd do now... The man didn't even know he was on this ship. Al supposed he could ask the crew or try to get a message to Mustang, but the general hadn't seemed too thrilled about talking with him to begin with. Would he be mad that Al had followed him?

After another moment, Al heard the clunking of boots behind him, but he ignored it. At this time of night, most likely it was someone with the crew. Instead of fading away, the steps came closer to him and suddenly a figure stepped beside him. Al looked up and he blinked in surprise when he saw it was the general. Mustang stared down at him expressionlessly for a moment before turning his gaze out to the water.

Al let his eyes travel over the man beside him. Roy Mustang was dressed in his military uniform; the rank of lieutenant general proclaimed from his shoulders. The man was taller then Alphonse, though Al had a suspicion that in a couple of years he might reach that same height.

The man's straight, black hair was plastered against his forehead from the wet, salty spray and his dark eyes held a gravity in them that only someone who had seen much could have. As Mustang stared out over the dark water, he reached up and absentmindedly undid the top of his uniform and the top button of the white shirt beneath before slowly blowing his breath out.

Alphonse frowned. The general didn't look very well. His face looked a little white and washed out. He suddenly felt a little sympathetic as he realized it must be the rocking of the boat that was bothering the man.

He turned his gaze back out to the moonlit water and for a time, neither of them said anything, then finally Al said quietly, "I'm sorry. I followed you. I hope you're not mad..."

For a moment Mustang didn't say anything, simply continued to stare out beyond the boat, then he said quietly, "No, I'm not mad..."

Al's bangs fluttered into his eyes from the wind, and he reached up to brush them back. "I... well... I was wondering if we could talk..." he murmured, then said quickly, "If you don't mind, I mean. We don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable."

When the general didn't say anything, Al wondered if he'd said the wrong thing, but then Mustang said, "What do you want to know?"

"Um..." He could ask about Ed, but everyone talked of Ed. He was pretty sure he knew what his brother had been like, those years he couldn't remember. He'd been told that his brother was stubborn and arrogant, but also that he'd helped people and had loyally stayed by Al's side in search of a way to regain what they'd lost.

He'd heard stories from Winry and Pinako, and stories from military personnel. Izumi had told him tales of when he and Ed had visited her, and he'd picked up stories about the Fullmetal Alchemist from various people he'd talked to in his travels.

But now, his first thought, surprisingly enough, wasn't about his brother. His first thought was about...

"What was I like? When you knew me?" he asked.

The man had said he'd known him, and this was also something he craved, but something others had been less talkative about. It seemed that his brother's brilliance had been so bright that many people had failed to really notice him. The most he ever got was that he had been very kind and patient, and that he'd always been with Ed. Al found that asking about himself tended to make others uncomfortable, because it forced them to acknowledge that they really hadn't taken the time to get to know him.

A small smile came to Mustang's lips and he murmured, "You were very intelligent, in a way even more so than Ed. You were very understanding about other people's problems. You always wanted to help, and you cared about others' well being before your own. You were Ed's greatest support and I think that without you, he never would have been what he was. You were his strength, and you kept him from getting into too much trouble."

The general stopped speaking and glanced at him for a moment before looking back out to the sea. Al waited silently, trying to digest it all.

"You were always polite and we often talked," Mustang finally continued, "But sometimes I felt like you had some negative feelings toward me. Not all the time, usually we got along brilliantly, but there were times..." He paused then said, as if trying to get off the subject of something he hadn't meant to say, "You know... if I had allowed you to become a State Alchemist, I have a feeling you would have been just as well known as your brother."

"You didn't allow me...?" Al turned and looked at him, surprised. He hadn't known that. Of course, he hadn't known that he had tried to become one either. "But... why?"

Mustang glanced at him and said simply, "It was for your own good. Your secret would have been very vulnerable had you entered the military. I wanted to protect the two of you."

"Oh..." That made sense to him, he supposed. "Do you think I didn't like you because of that?"

The general chuckled and turned so that he was facing him more than the water. "No, not because of that." The man shook his head and said, "You know, many people thought that you and Ed were so different from each other, but in many ways you were very similar. You were both very stubborn and very intelligent. You were simply more polite."

Mustang turned his body so that he was facing Al more fully, then said, "I probably knew your brother better than anyone else, and I think that's why. Your brother and I shared something that you couldn't have. At least, that is why I believed you had some feelings against me."

Al's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

The man sighed and turned back to lean on the railing. The general's eyes blinked tiredly at the sea beyond before he pressed his lips together in a way that made Al think the man might sick up soon. Taking a deep breath, Mustang said, "I'm sorry. You asked about yourself and I turned it to Ed. Forgive me."

"No!" Al said more forcefully than he'd meant to. "I want to know everything; about me and about Ed. I simply asked about myself first. Please tell me..."

Mustang turned and leaned his back against the wooden railing of the ship and folded his arms. He looked down in thoughtful silence for a while, then said quietly. "Everything, you say?"

"Yes. Everything," Al whispered, wondering if he really believed what he'd just said.

He watched in the bright moonlight as the man gently chewed on his lip in thought. Finally, after several minutes of silence, Mustang said, "Your brother and I..." He paused and glanced cautiously at Al before looking away. "We were lovers."

Al's breath stopped in his chest. _Lovers?_ "But... you're both..." He blushed. By now he was well aware of what men and women did in the bedroom, but... his brother and this... this... _old guy!?_ Not that the general was bad looking, in fact he was a very good looking man, but... that was just it! He was a _man_! How was that even possible?

"Are you angry?" Mustang asked softly.

"I..." Was he angry? Al searched inside of himself for the answer. He didn't know, but he could see how he might have been mad then. If the general had taken his brother's time, time that should have been spent with him... He supposed he must have been jealous. That must have been it.

But now...

Al looked up at the glassy, yellow moon for a moment before bringing his gaze down to the sea. Now, he wasn't the same person he was then. This man hadn't taken anything from him that he could remember, and thinking about it, Al was sure he must have had plenty of time with his brother... what was the big deal about sharing?

"I don't know..." he finally said. "I don't think so..."

"I see..." Mustang responded thoughtfully after a moment. "I'm glad."

There was more silence between them and Al let his thoughts run as he listened to the creaking of the ship. Finally he turned to face the man. "Did you... did you love him...?" Al asked quietly.

The general turned and stared at him silently for a long time before saying, "I don't know. What is love anyway? Just a fond emotion. I cared for your brother; I was fond of him, but... I was also fond of you. We simply didn't share the physical closeness your brother and I shared."

"Oh..." he said softly, not sure what to say to that.

Suddenly the ship lurched and fell on a strong wave. The two of them grabbed a hold of the railing and waited for almost a full minute for the boat to calm to the normal gentle motion it had before.

Al glanced over at the general who looked even paler than before. Swallowing hard, Mustang stood up and glanced over at him. Giving him a small smile, the man gently touched his cheek. "I'd like to talk more, but I think I'm going to retire for the night." Al nodded. By the looks of it, the general needed some rest. "My cabin is on the other side of this deck, third to the right. Feel free to come whenever you like. You don't need to knock, just enter as you please. Alright?"

When Al nodded, the general turned and started to walk unsteadily away. It was then that Alphonse thought perhaps it hadn't been the fact that Mustang had taken his time with Ed that he'd been jealous of. Perhaps it had been the fact that he hadn't had a body to take part in the intimacy his brother enjoyed with this other man... From what he'd picked out of the conversation he'd just had with the general, it seemed that they must have been on friendly terms, for the most part, and that they'd shared a sort of emotional bond.

Could he have that again? Did he even want it? He didn't even know this man anymore...

And most importantly...

Al turned back and stared out over the black water. Now that he had a physical body, did he want to try having what he couldn't have before?

* * *

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	3. Enter As You Please

**-**

**Lost**

**3 of 7**

**Enter As You Please**

**-**

Alphonse stood in front of the door to General Mustang's cabin and stared at the doorknob—a dull, steel thing that dimly reflected the moonlight. He frowned. It had been three days since they had talked, and during that time he'd thought a lot about this man, this Roy Mustang.

The man seemed to genuinely care about Ed and him. It seemed that perhaps they'd all been close, but Al couldn't remember any of that... Part of him just wanted to avoid the general until they got to Amestris, then run off and never contact him again. And then, part of him wanted to talk to the man, question him... interrogate him... find out everything he could from that time.

Al glanced up from the knob and stared at the wooden door. It seemed that the second part of him had won, though why he'd felt the need to come at night... he didn't know. The small window to the cabin was dark and Al thought that perhaps he should just come back tomorrow.

Instead, raising his hand, Al knocked softly. Mustang had said he could come anytime and that he could just come in, but it just didn't seem right to do that without knocking first. After waiting for almost a minute, Al knocked again, this time louder, but he still got no response.

Pressing his lips together, Al reached down and turned the cool, metal knob before pushing the door open a little and sticking his head in.

"Hello?" he called softly, suddenly realizing that at this time of night, the general was most likely sleeping. He cringed slightly at the thought that he could be waking the man. He was about to leave when he heard a weak reply from within the darkness.

"Come in, Alphonse."

Al frowned and let himself into the dark cabin, then shut the door behind him. "I didn't wake you, did I?" he asked quietly as his eyes adjusted to the dim room.

"No. I can't sleep." There was a small laugh. "I've never liked the swaying and rocking that boats do, but tonight it seems to be particularly unsettling."

"Oh..." Al murmured, and fidgeted a little. He was suddenly unsure whether he was ready to talk. Probably it would be better if he thought about his more, perhaps worked up a little more courage... "I can come back lat..." he began, but the general cut him off.

"No, please don't go," Mustang said quickly. He paused, then went on more slowly, "I was beginning to wonder if I'd scared you away..."

Al was quiet for a moment before saying, "I just needed to think."

To that, Mustang didn't say anything and as the silence stretched on in the darkness, Al again thought that perhaps he should come back another time. Suddenly the boat lurched and Al was forced forward, his footstep clunked loudly against the hard wooden floor as he took a few steps to steady himself.

"I'm sorry," the general said. "It was rude of me not to offer you a place to sit." He paused, then said, "The cabin is small and the only place to sit is on the bed, but if you're uncomfortable with that..." Mustang trailed off, probably unsure what other sitting place to offer except for the floor.

"I don't mind," Al murmured, then nervously wiped his hands on his pants before holding them out and walking slowly forward in the darkness. Suddenly his shin bumped on something and he groaned before a hand grabbed one of his and guided him down to sit. When he sat, Al felt his back and side press against Mustang's prone body.

"I can sit if you'd like. The bed is also small, but I'd rather stay lying down if you don't mind. The rocking is making me a bit nauseous."

"Um, no... it's fine," Al said, feeling much more nervous than before. Knowing that this man and his brother had done things together and that he, too, had been close in some way to Mustang...

"You're very tense," Mustang murmured, and suddenly he felt a hand gently rubbing his back.

Al nodded before he remembered that it was pitch black in the cabin. "Yeah, I guess so..."

"Don't be," the man said softly.

The teen chewed gently on his lip. Is this how Mustang had been to his brother? Had he been soft and caring? Al had heard plenty of stories about Ed, as well as knowing his brother from when they were little, to know that Ed wasn't exactly a 'soft and tender' person.

Neither of them spoke for a time, and Al was glad of it. Even though he'd thought he was ready for this, he wasn't. A small moan escaped his lips as Mustang went from rubbing in a circular motion to lightly massaging one of his shoulders, then the other. He felt the tension ebb out of him a little.

"Can you tell me... can you tell me about myself?" Al asked nervously.

The soft massaging faltered for a moment before the man said quietly, "I could."

The teen waited and when nothing else come, he asked, "But you won't?"

There was a small sigh before the general said, "What would it matter? That is gone. You're not that person..."

Al turned around and took a hold of Mustang's hand before reaching out with his other to grab onto the man's shirt. At least that had been his intention. He fumbled around and when his fingers found warm skin instead of cloth that gave him a moment's pause, but only a moment. Quickly, he grabbed a hold of Mustang's shoulder and leaned in close.

"It matters to _me_!" he breathed out. He pressed Mustang's hand against his chest as if that would some how make the man feel that Al hadn't changed. "I _am_ the same. That person isn't gone! I want to find him! Just as much as I want to find my brother! Can't you help me? Please..."

Al's grip tightened on Mustang's hand, pressing it harder against his chest as if that would take away the sudden suffocating pressure he felt there. He hung his head, trying not to let his emotions take full control of him and the next moment he felt arms slipping around his shoulders. Al leaned forward a little, then let his body lay on its side on the bed and let the top of his head rest against the man's chest.

"I'm sorry," Mustang said. "I... I've been so selfish. I'll tell you what I can, but... Alphonse, you really aren't the same person. You're similar, but the Alphonse I knew had experienced different things than you. You're not exactly the same. That's something you'll need to learn to live with. Even if you get your memories back, you'll still have the memories from what you've experienced since you lost them. You won't be the same person you are now, but you won't be the same as you were then either."

Al pressed his lips together, as tears that he'd held back for as long as he could remember threatened to escape his eyes. He suddenly didn't want to talk about this right now. It hurt too much. He didn't want to think of the implications of what had happened, he simply wanted to know about himself.

Mustang shifted and Al became more aware of the man beside him; more aware that the man was at least half, if not completely, naked. Without thinking, he asked, "If I'd had a body back then... would you have... with me? Like brother?" Al felt heat rise to his cheeks. He couldn't bring himself to ask the question outright, but he had to know.

There was a moment of silence, then, "Perhaps. I don't know."

"You don't know?" Al asked softly. He felt hurt, though he couldn't explain why.

"No, I don't. Speculation has never been something I indulged in. It's possible that I might have, but what you and I had was just as intimate as what Ed and I had, only it wasn't physical."

Al wanted to reply to that, but he couldn't think of an appropriate answer, so he just said, "Oh..." as his thoughts continued to bounce around.

Suddenly, Al felt himself pushed over onto his back and he sensed that Mustang was leaning over him now. "I shared many things about myself with you that I never shared with your brother." Al felt a large hand caress his cheek. "Ed rarely wanted to actually _talk_ about anything, unless it was about the Philosopher's Stone. No, your brother craved physical closeness and that's really how he shared his feelings. It was in the bedroom, during his fiery passion, that I learned the most about him."

The general paused, then went on. "You didn't have the ability to feel someone next to you, but I don't know that it would have mattered anyway. Emotions always seemed to be what was important to you. You wanted to talk about everything." Mustang stopped speaking for a moment, then said, "You and I... what we had was just as real as what Ed and I had. You and I... we penetrated each other's souls just as deeply as Ed and I entered each other's bodies."

Mustang trailed off and Al pondered what the man had said before saying, "So we were... emotional lovers?" He wasn't sure if that was the best way to put it, but it sounded good to him. After a moment, he felt the man nod. Al sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, not sure if what he was about to say would be the right thing or not. "We were emotional lovers because I didn't have the ability to feel physically...?"

The general cleared his throat. "I don't think that's the only reason. I believe that even if you'd had that ability, we still would have had that emotional bond. That's just... who you were..." The man trailed off, and Al wondered if Mustang thought what he'd just said was as lame as Al did.

"I have that ability now..." Al whispered suddenly. His heart beat heavily in his chest and he had to breathe through his mouth to get enough air. The hand that had been caressing his cheek stopped for a small second before it traveled down to his chin and tipped his head up a little. Suddenly he felt hot breath on his face and he wondered just how close the general's face was to his.

"But, is that what you really want?" Mustang asked breathily.

"I don't know... but..." But what? Part of him did want it, or at least... he wanted to try... But, _why_? Why did he want to do this? Was he doing this because the man and his brother had...? Over the years he'd done everything to try to get him closer to his brother including dressing like him, but to take his lover... Was that why he was doing this?

No.

No, it wasn't. He wanted this for himself. This might be his only chance, and someday, when he got his memories back, he might wish that he had done this, or at least tried it. For now, though, it was scary. He really didn't know this man at all, but Mustang knew him...

"I don't want to hurt you," the man said, his breath hot against Al's skin.

"I just want to know..." Al choked, and again tears threatened. To know what? What it was like to be with someone else? Perhaps what it was like to be with this man? Maybe. Or it could be that he just wanted to know if he'd be able to find himself within the embrace of a man he'd had such a close relationship...

Perhaps it was all just foolishness...

Perhaps...

After a moment, he felt lips press gently against his. He'd never kissed, or been kissed by, anyone before. The pressure on his lips was soft, but the lips themselves were slightly rough. The weight lifted and small kisses were trailed down to his neck.

Al swallowed hard when the man's hand began traveling down his body. It was all so arousing and sensual... So foreign and new. He felt his body react almost instantly and he mentally begged for more.

Suddenly, the ship hit a particularly large wave and the general was thrown off of him onto the floor. There was a thud where he hit and after a second he heard a groan, then the sound of metal, probably a bucket, scraping against wood before the noise of Mustang being sick sounded in his ears.

Al turned over and waited. Trying to think of what had just happened now that the moment had been broken. The feel of the man's fingers against his skin... Mustang's warm breath and gentle caressing...

After a few moments of dry heaving, there was another moan before Mustang said weakly, "Maybe not tonight?"

Al chuckled a little at that. "Yeah... maybe not tonight."

He heard Mustang crawl across the floor, then felt him climb back into the bed. The man half sighed, half moaned. Not wanting to be a bother, Al sat up and was about to stand, when he felt a hand take hold of his arm.

"Will you stay anyway?" the general asked quietly, voice filled with hope and longing. "Perhaps we can talk a little...? I've... I've missed that more than you know..."

Al smiled softly and lay back down. He scooted close and felt strong arms wrap tightly around him. Alphonse pressed his head against Mustang's chest and returned the embrace with one of his own. "Yeah..." Al whispered softly. "Yeah, I'll stay."

* * *

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	4. Artificial Light

**-**

**Lost**

**4 of 7**

**Artificial Light**

**-  
**Roy glanced over to where Alphonse was sitting on the edge of the side of the boat. With how much rocking the ship was doing, he had the strongest urge to grab the teen and pull him onto the deck.

He didn't, but he wanted to.

Alphonse sat with one leg on each side of the thick wood and was staring dully up at the cloudy sky. It had been cloudy when they'd left, but Roy had thought the weather would get better, and it had for a couple of days, but then this morning it had taken a bit of a turn. He'd talked to the captain, who was none too happy about the chance that they might get caught in a storm. Roy definitely shared his feelings.

Today, though, Roy felt slightly better than he had been, but the rocking still bothered him. The trip away from Amestris had been calm and he'd been able to at least keep from being too sick, but this voyage...

"Why?"

Roy blinked when he realized that Alphonse had spoken. "I'm sorry...?" he said, wanting the teen to repeat himself.

"Why... Why did you pick us?" Roy raised an eyebrow at that before smiling a little and turning his gaze out to the murky water. "What?" the teen asked.

"Just an amusing question... You seem so sure that it was _I_ who picked the two of you..."

At a wave of nausea, Roy laid his cheek to the wood and let his gaze meet Alphonse's. The teen looked slightly confused and said, "What do you mean?"

Roy sighed and lifted his head up. What he really wanted to do was go back to his cabin and lay down, but he wanted to stay with Alphonse for a while. "Ed was the one who approached me first. He caught me at a very busy time and I really wasn't paying much attention to him." Roy chuckled a little at the memory. "I was quickly trying to go through all my work and he was giving his report, then without any warning he said...

"_And then the guy didn't even bother with helping, he just ran off."_

_Roy nodded absently at the boy's oral report as he scanned the documents in front of him. "Sure, Fullmetal."_

"_You're not even listening to me..._

_Roy nodded again as he signed and moved on to the next paper. "That's nice..." he said inattentively. There was silence for a moment, but he wasn't really aware of it, before the boy spoke again. _

"_I don't see why I have to stay here and report. You're not listening and you'll just read it all in my report later..."_

"_Uh huh," Roy murmured vaguely. By the tone of the kid's voice, he seemed a bit upset, but nothing he'd said had connected in his brain._

_There was a sound of exasperation, then, "You know... I was wondering if you wanted to have sex with me. You know, I _am _a teenager and wanking off all the time just doesn't cut it for me. Perhaps you can be my bitch, what do you think?"_

"_Sure, Fullmetal..." Roy scanned the document he was currently reading before glancing up; the words Ed had just said coming through. Clearing his throat, Roy said slowly, "What? Say that... again...?_

"_Oh... I thought you weren't listening..." the teen said, suddenly looking embarrassed._

Roy chuckled at the memory then looked at Alphonse. "At first, I thought he was joking, but it turned out that he was serious..." Roy shook his head. "I was really surprised, so I told him I'd think about it, instead of outright saying no; which I should have done, by the way. I guess he took that as a challenge, and well, that was that, I suppose."

"Hm..." Al murmured and looked out toward the sea again. Roy let his eyes wander over Alphonse and he thought of the previous evening. He'd been ready to take the boy to his bed, and would have if he hadn't been so damn sick. Perhaps it was a good thing that he had been. He'd dwelled on it quite a bit during the long hours of the night as he held the sleeping teen in his arms.

Was that the type of relationship he wanted to have with Alphonse? It seemed as if he could have something with the young alchemist, perhaps what he had possessed before. Would it be too much to ask of Alphonse for him to take on the roll Edward had played in his life? Was Alphonse ready for that kind of a relationship? Was it too soon?

Roy sighed and let his gaze settle on the horizon. With the boy wearing Ed's clothing, and growing out his hair, he seemed to be taking a lot of Ed into himself. Did Alphonse only want to be with him like that because that is what Ed and he shared? Was it just another part of him wanting to gather whatever Ed had to get closer to his missing brother?

Suddenly the day became even darker than it already was and Roy looked up at the grey-black clouds covering the sun before groaning inwardly. They were definitely in for a storm and he didn't know if he'd be able to stomach it.

"We should go inside," Roy said and glanced over to where Alphonse was seated precariously on the heavy wood of the ship.

The teen nodded distractedly and hopped lightly onto the deck. Letting go of the railing, Roy walked unsteadily toward his cabin. The boat was already rocking and swaying more than he was happy with and he had to fight the urge to drop to his knees and crawl to the nearest wall to throw up.

"Sir?" Alphonse said, and suddenly Roy felt the teen move his body under his arm. "Lean on me."

Roy nodded and they made it to his cabin together. After getting inside, Alphonse shut the door as Roy staggered to his bed and lay down.

"For daytime, it's pretty dark in here..." Alphonse murmured and flipped the switch on the small lamp connected to the wall. The artificial light was dim, but it worked. Sighing, the teen walked over, sat on the edge of the bed, and after a moment asked, "What about me?"

"What about you?" Roy answered.

"You said that you were close to me too. How..."

"How did that happen?" Roy finished for him. Alphonse nodded, and Roy made a 'hmmm' sound before answering. "Well, it seemed that Ed couldn't keep anything from you and whenever he came to my apartment, you were with him. It was rather..." He paused, trying to find the right word. "Disconcerting."

The teen glanced at him and Roy could see a red flush spreading over his cheeks. "You mean... I was there when you... and brother..."

Roy nodded. "I had a studio apartment so there was no separate bedroom. You simply sat and watched. I think... he never said, but I think Ed got some sort of, um... I don't know... I think it did something for him... having you watch..."

"Freaky..." Al whispered, not really sure what to think about that.

Roy chuckled. "Actually, you and Ed were really close, and it wasn't like he was forcing you to be there. You _wanted_ to be there."

"Are you sure?" the teen asked in embarrassment.

"Quite. You see, Ed was quick to fall asleep after we were done, and I always enjoyed a cup of tea afterwards, so you and I talked quite a bit after. Sometimes you asked me questions about what Ed and I had done, sometimes you asked questions designed to encourage me to tell you about myself and my past. At first it was rather disturbing..." Roy stopped as a particularly nauseating feeling overpowered him and he groaned into his pillow.

"Are you alright?" Alphonse asked, his voice radiating worry as he put his hand on Roy's shoulder.

Roy nodded weakly, and turned his head out of the pillow. "I'm fine... as fine as can be expected."

"Do you want me to get you anything?"

Roy shook his head and waved a hand. "No, I'm fine..." He was quiet for a moment, then continued where he'd left off. "You see, I wasn't used to telling people about myself and it felt strange. The more I talked to you, however, the more I was able to open up. It was odd, but you would ask me questions that made me really think about myself..."

"I'm sorry..." the teen apologized.

"Don't be. It was good for me. We both shared ourselves with each other. Sometimes we would stay up half of the night just talking while Ed slept." He paused, then said, "I think that was something you really needed since you couldn't sleep."

Alphonse lowered his head in thought and Roy wondered what the teen must make of all this. Roy turned, laid flat on his back, and draped his arm over his eyes. Even though the light from the small lamp was dim, it was beginning to give him a headache to accompany his nausea.

"Maybe I should go so you can get some rest..." he heard Alphonse say quietly.

"I don't want you to leave," Roy murmured.

Silence filled the small cabin for a moment, before the teen whispered, "Okay," then moments later felt Al move off the bed and then the artificial light was gone, making Roy sigh with relief. He moved his arm from his eyes and reached over to where he imagined Alphonse was standing. When he felt a warm hand in his, he pulled the teen in slowly and felt Alphonse crawl into bed beside him.

Wrapping his arms around the boy, Roy pressed his face close to Al's neck and pressed his lips against the teen's smooth skin. He felt as though he'd found a part of himself that had been missing, and the more time he spent with Al, the harder it was to let him out of his sight. His hand moved over the course fabric of the red coat, and he felt a pain in his heart. If only Ed were here too... He hadn't realized just how much he needed them both until now; hadn't realized how they completed him.

Al wasn't Ed, and Ed wasn't Al.

Roy held Alphonse tighter, and felt the boy return his desperate hug. Maybe he could have what he'd once had with Alphonse, even if it was slightly different. Maybe he could even have with Al what he'd once had with Ed, now that the teen had his body back.

Al seemed to want it... Or maybe Al only wanted it because that's what role Ed had played. It was hard to tell, given what seemed to be an obsession on Alphonse's part to become like his brother. Roy sighed and enjoyed the feel of Alphonse in his arms. That was a question for another time. Right now he was much too sick to really decide anything.

* * *

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	5. Dragon Tears

**-**

**Lost**

**5 of 7**

**Dragon Tears**

**-  
**Roy was forced awake as he was thrown violently across the dim cabin. He grunted as his body connected painfully with the wall. The ship tipped up violently making him slide back to another wall along with the few things in the small cabin that weren't latched down. A wave of nausea swept over him as the boat corrected itself on the wave and he slid to the other side of the cabin to where the door was.

He blinked at the swaying room, trying desperately to keep himself together. He was used to danger, even used to braving the elements, but the sea was one woman he was still loath to deal with when she was angry. His insides clenched as the ship lurched again and he grabbed onto something connected to the wall before dry heaving.

Outside the cabin, the wind raged fiercely, and he could hear the panicked shouts of crewmen trying to keep the ship afloat. Suddenly, the sound of heavy footsteps over the hardwood floor caused Roy to look up and he saw Alphonse's shape in the dimness making his way unsteadily towards him.

"Careful..." Roy warned weakly.

"I'm fine. This doesn't bother me at all," the teenager said, then knelt down next to him. Now that Alphonse was close, Roy could see a dark bruise beginning to form on the boy's forehead. When Roy reached up and touched it, Al grabbed onto his wrist, and moved his hand away. "Don't worry. I'm fine," he assured Roy, then said, "Are _you_ okay? You should get back in the bed. There are railings near it that you can hold onto."

"What about you?" Roy asked, not liking the tone in the other's voice. The teen had only said that _he_ should be there.

Al shook his head. "I'm going outside to help."

He started to stand, when Roy grabbed a hold of him. "No, don't. You're not a sailor." It was a plea from the depths of his soul. He was afraid. He didn't want to chance losing Alphonse now that he had him.

"I'm an alchemist," the teen said simply, as if that were the end all to everything.

"I don't want you to go," Roy pleaded, feeling even sicker from the wild rocking.

Al frowned and said irritably, "I'm going. Brother would go. I _can_ help."

"No, you can't!" Roy forced out harshly. He wasn't sure how much more of this rocking and diving he could take. "You're right, Ed _would_ go, but Ed has done some very stupid things. To go out there would be insanity!"

The teen stared flatly at him for a moment, then said, "I'm going!" sounding none too friendly about it.

"It's a _storm_ out there!" Roy yelled, forcing himself to stand despite the rocking. "You'll never get an array to stay long enough in the rain to get it to work!" He couldn't let him go. He couldn't let him risk himself like that. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he just couldn't let Alphonse him go.

The teen threw open the door and Roy felt rain and salt water spray against his body. The door shuddered and Roy desperately wanted to close it. Al started to go out, when Roy grabbed his arm again. "Stop! You cannot go out there!"

Al whipped his head and torso around. "I can do what I want!" he yelled back angrily. "Just because you knew me before doesn't mean you can order me around! I'm not my brother!"

Roy felt his hair and clothes begin to stick wetly to his body and the cold made him begin to shiver. He heard more shouting from the sailors, and the ship groaned loudly around him. "I know that!" he shouted passionately over the sound of the storm. Of course he knew that. How could he not know that? Another wave of nausea washed over him and he almost fell to his knees. Instead, he pulled Alphonse close and stared hard into the teen's eyes. "I _know_ that..." he repeated fervently. "But do _you_ know that?"

Alphonse reared back in shock, his eyes open wide, his hand coming up to grab a hold of the long, red coat draped around him. "I... I..."

Suddenly a particularly strong wave hit the ship causing them both to fall to the floor. Roy grabbed a hold of the doorframe as the world tilted crazily to the side. Alphonse fell outside of the cabin and scrambled for purchase, but was unable to and disappeared as the boat tilted even more.

"Alphonse!" he shouted, and frantically tried to pull himself up. As the ship started to correct itself, he scrambled to his feet and moved to stick his head out of the doorway. Through the rain and past the rushing sailors he saw the teen at the far end of the ship, hanging on the edge of the railing, trying to climb back into the boat.

With all the energy and courage he could muster, Roy flung himself out of his cabin and raced down the swaying deck. Or rather he raced up, given that it was now tilting up for the moment. As he neared the railing, Roy worked to slow his momentum when the ship tilted back. He hit the railing with a thud and moaned.

"Help!" he heard the boy yelling as he desperately tried to keep a grip on the railing. "General! Help me!"

Roy reached over and grabbed onto Alphonse's arms, and felt himself get sick as he saw the ocean raging wildly beneath the boy's dangling legs. He pulled, trying to pull Al up, but the boy was too heavy, or maybe he was just too weak. Roy let his eyes wander over the frightened teen, thinking urgently of a way to save him.

It finally dawned on him, and he almost didn't want to say it. Even if he did, would Alphonse listen to him? Gritting his teeth against the nauseating sway of the boat, Roy shouted, "Get rid of the coat!" Al stared at him in shock, for a moment not processing what had been said, then fiercely shook his head.

"Do it!" Roy pleaded over the gusting wind. His arms were aching with holding onto the boy, and he didn't know how much longer he'd be able to keep a hold of him. "It's too heavy with all the water!" he yelled.

Tears welled up in Alphonse's eyes as he shook his head again. "I can't! It's _brother's_! It's all I have left!!"

"You won't be able to find him if you're dead!" Roy yelled angrily. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation _now_ of all times. He would never ask Al to get rid of the coat if it wasn't a life or death situation. "That coat is too heavy! It's weighing you down!"

Dragon sized tears spilled out of those large, brown eyes and mingled with the rain and ocean water covering Al's body.

"No! No! No!" Alphonse screamed in agony.

"YES!" Roy half yelled, half moaned. "Just DO it, dammit! I don't know how much longer I can hold on! You can't look for your brother if you're dead! Do you really believe Ed would want you sacrifice yourself for his _coat_?"

Al's face crumpled even more, and his eyes begged Roy not to make him do this thing, but Roy couldn't give him what he wanted. "I need it!" Al argued.

"Why!?" Roy returned angrily. "You didn't know him when he wore that coat! All you remember is how he was before! Ed _changed_ from that time, Alphonse! And now, it's been years since I've seen him. I'm sure he's changed again. It's a possibly that I could pass him on the street and not know him!"

Al opened his mouth to speak, but Roy continued on. "You're looking for a memory! You're holding so tight to the past that you can't see the now! It's no wonder you haven't found him yet!"

The ship lurched and Roy nearly lost his grip on Al's arms. He was suddenly aware that tears were running down his own face, but he paid them no mind. "It's no wonder that you aren't at peace with yourself, Alphonse! You're never going to know who you really are until you start living your own life! Look for your brother, but do it as Alphonse Elric, not as some poor imitation of Edward Elric!" he yelled passionately.

Al's face crumpled and he sobbed heavily, but after a moment he nodded. It was not an easy task to extract himself from the coat and Roy nearly lost his grip on him three times, but he did it. Roy watched with an ache in his chest as the dark red coat fell into the raging sea and was swallowed by the waves.

As the ship tilted again, Roy pulled hard on Al's arms and the teen was able to help a little in the process. Roy stumbled backward and Al fell on him heavily. Rough sobs wracked Al's body and he clung desperately to him.

Roy wanted to comfort the boy, but he couldn't. Not now. Now they had to get back to the cabin. With an effort, Roy pushed the boy away from him and opened his mouth to speak when two sailors rushed to them and pulled them up.

An angry lecture about not coming out in a storm came from both sailors as they helped them back to the cabin, and as quickly as it had happened, they were back inside the cabin. Lying on the floor, Roy held onto Alphonse as he cried and stroked his wet hair, the strands knotted and tangled from the wind and rain.

"It's gone!" Al sobbed. "It's gone! It was all I had and now I'm alone!"

"No..." Roy soothed, kissing the boy's forehead. "You're not alone. I'm with you."

"But, brother..." Al cried.

"Is not the coat," Roy said softly. "You will find him. I know you will."

To this there was no verbal answer. Instead, Al sobbed even harder, and Roy simply held him close. Nothing he could say right now was going to make it better. He understood that. But Al would get through this. He was strong. Even if he didn't know it, Roy knew it. He'd seen what kind of strength lay dormant inside of this young man. Perhaps now, without the crutch that he'd used for so long, that strength would emerge and Al would finally become who he was meant to be.

* * *

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	6. Draw the Line in the Sand

**-**

**Lost **

**6 of 7 **

**Draw the Line in the Sand**

**- **

Roy turned his head, closed his eyes, and let the breeze waft lightly against his face. It was a warm evening, but the air was turning a little cool given that the sun would soon set. Opening his eyes, Roy glanced around before slowly walking toward the beach.

After all that time on the ship it felt amazing to be back on land. The constant moving of the ship had wrecked havoc on his internal system and even now, when he wasn't moving, he could swear that the world was rocking. It made him feel a little fuzzy in the head and still a tad sick to his stomach.

But he was on land.

He was home.

For the first time in years he was in Amestris, and he really hadn't realized how much he missed his homeland until now.

Seagulls cawed above him and he glanced up to watch them fly toward the ocean—fly in the direction he was headed. They reminded him of Alphonse in a way... When the ship had docked that morning, Alphonse had thrust a note at him before running off without a word. The note had said something about Alphonse going ahead to get a room at the local inn for the two of them.

Roy sighed heavily and shook his head. Since the big storm, Alphonse had been quite elusive. When the teen _had_ graced Roy with his company, he'd been quiet—content to simply be held in Roy's arms. And, of course, Roy hadn't pushed him to talk either. That night had been intense for them both, and Al had needed time to think.

Roy stopped and pulled a paper from his pocket.

When he'd gotten to the inn, a note had been left for him telling him which room was theirs, and to please meet Alphonse on the beach later that evening. Roy reread the instructions telling him which part of the beach he should go before turning a little and moving off the paved road and onto the sand.

He walked for a time, then stopped. The sun was low in the sky and he needed to raise his hand to shield his eyes from the light as he looked into the distance. Further down the beach was a section of large boulders and Roy could barely make out a lone figure sitting on one of the tallest ones.

With a nod to himself, Roy stuffed the paper back into his pocket, took a deep breath, and started purposefully toward the rocks. He wasn't exactly sure what they would talk about, but he was positive that it would be important. At least, he hoped it would be given how quiet Alphonse had been recently...

When he was close enough, Roy stopped and took a good look at the young man on the bolder before closing the distance between himself and the rock. It was Alphonse, but it wasn't who he'd seen that morning running from the ship and into the town—not who he'd traveled with on the ship.

No, the young man before him had a different air about him that was only accentuated by the fact that instead of the black pants and shirt that had created the image of a counterfeit Edward Elric, Alphonse was dressed in brown pants, and a white, long-sleeved, button-up shirt that rippled loosely when the breeze caught it.

There was also something else...

Alphonse's head turned toward him and a small smile lit his face before he turned and looked down at Roy.

"You cut your hair..." Roy said quietly, looking up at the teen.

To this, Alphonse nodded and said softly, "I had to."

Roy frowned and folded his arms. "Why?" he questioned, though perhaps he already knew the answer.

The teen looked down at his hands for a moment and plucked at the pants before looking back at Roy and saying, "It just felt right." Roy said nothing and waited for more. "I... well, I never had long hair before, and I suppose I simply grew it out because in all those pictures brother's hair was long. I..." Alphonse lifted one of his hands and raked his fingers through his hair before shaking his head. Roy watched the boy blink a couple of times before scrubbing a hand over his eyes.

"I really hated you for a while..." Alphonse whispered, his voice rough and full of unshed tears. "After that night, I wondered how you could say some of those things to me. I thought to myself that you couldn't even begin to understand my pain, but..." Alphonse sniffled. "I thought a lot about it. I realized..._really_ realized that you were right."

Roy watched silently as Alphonse stood and jumped down from the bolder and walked toward him. For a moment he looked down at the ground, but finally he glanced up, and when he did, Roy couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from the boy's liquid brown ones.

"You... you were right. About everything..." Alphonse whispered painfully.

"Alphonse..." Roy began, but the teen shook his head.

"No. Let me talk. You... You were right. It was too heavy..." the boy said, and a tear trickled from one of his eyes and moved slowly down his cheek. "The coat. It was too heavy of a burden to carry. I never realized just how much until it was gone."

He paused for a moment, then his face took on an ashamed look. "I feel so light now. I feel free in a way that I never thought I could be." Alphonse lowered his gaze and stared at Roy's chest. "I'm not saying that brother is a burden," he said quickly, as if guilty that he should feel this way. "But holding onto him the way I was... you were right. It was like I was trying to be him in a way."

Alphonse's voice broke slightly, but he continued on. "I needed to hold onto him as tightly as I could. Brother and I, we'd always been together, but then he was gone, and I was alone." He sniffled softly. "I didn't want to be alone. Everything had been taken from me... My mother, my brother, my memories...

He looked back up into Roy's eyes and whispered, "I was lost. I was lost to myself just as much as brother is lost to me. I... I needed him. I needed him to be there... I felt so alone..." His face crumpled. Roy could tell Alphonse was fighting the tears and the strong emotions that were dammed up inside of him.

Alphonse blinked and more tears trickled from his eyes, yet his face took on a determined quality. "I _will_ continue my journey, and I _will_ find brother," he said passionately, then in a quieter, but no less passionate voice, "and I will find myself too."

Roy reached over and brushed at another tear that had escaped the boy's eyes. "I don't know if I'll ever regain the memories from the time after we tried to bring back our mother, but if I don't, then I can accept that. I'll still be me. I'll still be Alphonse Elric."

The teen reached up and put a hand over Roy's. "I want to... I want to know you... You're right, I'm not who I was when you knew be before, and maybe things are different now, but I'm still me," Alphonse said and pressed his other hand to his chest. "Will you give this me a chance? Would it be too much for us to get to know each other again?"

"No..." Roy whispered quietly, answering Alphonse's second question. He was pleased at what he was seeing; happy that finally Alphonse had come to accept who he was without his brother's memory making every decision for him.

"I want... I also want..." Alphonse started, and blushed deeply. "I'd like to know you the way brother did as well. Not just because I want to be like brother," Al affirmed quickly, when he saw the look on Roy's face. "It's just... I thought about it a lot, and I think that if I'd had a body at that time then we would have had that closeness too..."

Roy nodded, then frowned slightly as a thought came to him. "What will you do if you find Ed and he still wants to be with me like that?"

Al shook his head. "I my not have known my brother during that time, but I did know him. I think... I think brother wouldn't begrudge my physical time with you. I think that maybe he would have liked some of that talking time with you that I had so much of, but perhaps he didn't even try to have that with you because he might not have thought it was fair that he had it all while I only had part."

Roy nodded slowly. He'd never really thought of it that way, but it did make a strange sort of sense, and that line of thinking did seem very much like Ed.

"I think... well... you said that brother slept during the time we talked, but I think that perhaps he might not have. I think he might have listened to us sometimes, the same way I watched the two of you. He had you physically and I had you emotionally, but now that I have a body, the lines aren't as clear. I can have both, and well... he might feel like he can too." Alphonse looked at him sheepishly. "At least, that's what I think..."

Roy breathed in deeply and let the air out slowly. Alphonse's theory made sense, but he couldn't help but feel a bit odd at this. What type of siblings share a lover like that? Before, he'd always thought of it as them completing a part of him, but he'd never thought about it in the way that _they_ were sharing _him_ between themselves. He'd always felt like he was the one in charge of this, but perhaps he never had been.

Would the Elric brothers really want to share one lover when they could each have their own? Of course, there was the question of if he would want them to have their own lover. Why not have them both? He cared for them both and didn't think he could let either of them go.

He didn't want to choose... but if he had to...

Roy searched Al's face before bending down and picking up a stick that was near his foot. Slowly, he drew a line between himself and Alphonse, then stepped back and tossed the stick aside.

"Do you really feel that you're ready for that? Don't misunderstand," Roy said when he saw the boy open his mouth. "I do want you. I want you very much. But I'm a grown man. I'm ready. I want you to be ready too." Roy pointed down at the line in the sand. "Once we cross that line, it can never be un-crossed. Even if we decide it's not for us and we stop, it will still have been crossed. Your theory about Ed is an interesting one, but you can't know for sure."

"I..." Alphonse began, but Roy held up his hand.

"It's my turn now, Alphonse," Roy said in a soft, firm voice. "You're still living your life depending on what your brother would think or do or say or feel. I don't think it's wrong to consider him, but if you're going to live your own life, then do it. Make your own choices and do it because _you_ want it, not because of your brother."

Roy shook his head. It was hard, doing this. What he wanted to say was, 'Yes, you're right. Your brother won't mind so let's go start this physical loving started right now,' but he couldn't.

"If we cross the invisible line between us, then it will be because we want each other. Not because of your brother. You have to at least understand that there is a possibility that your brother won't approve."

Alphonse's face fell and he glanced down at the line. "What your brother and I had, we had years ago. As much as I might want him to, it would be unfair of me to expect that he would save himself for me. It would also be unfair of him to expect that I would save myself for him. If he knew of your interest in me before, it would be unfair of him to expect you to stay away from me. Do you understand?" Roy asked gently.

"You love him?" Alphonse asked quietly, still looking down at the line.

"I told you before, I care for him deeply. I also care for you deeply," Roy answered. "Whether that is love or not... I don't really know."

"And if... and if he wanted you not to be with me and only be with him?" Al whispered, his voice wavering.

Roy swallowed. Not a choice he'd ever want to have to make, but... "If I was already with you, then I wouldn't leave you, Alphonse," he said quietly. "But if he wanted to share, like before, then I would want that. I want you both. I _need_ you both."

"Maybe... maybe you only think you need us both since each of us fulfilled only one need for you," Alphonse said. "What if I could fulfill both?"

Roy opened his mouth, then shut it again. So insightful... But then, this was _Alphonse_ he was talking to... "I don't know..." he said quietly.

Alphonse lifted his head and stared at him with determined eyes. "I don't have a problem sharing you with brother if he wants to, but I want to try being all you need." With that said, Alphonse stepped over the line and stood close to Roy. "I will find brother, and when I do... well, we'll cross that line when it comes, but for now, it's just us." He reached out and pressed his hand against Roy's chest. "Just you—Roy Mustang... and me—Alphonse Elric..."

Roy nodded slowly in understanding. They didn't know what the future would bring, but they did know what they had now and all they could do was make the most of it. With his eyes locked onto Alphonse's face, Roy reached up and caught ahold of Alphonse's hand and moved his other to press against the teen's back as he leaned down and pressed his lips softly against Al's.

The teen reached up and wrapped his arms around Roy's neck and returned the kiss. Roy didn't think a kiss had ever felt so good and so right as it did at that moment. Everything seemed clear—the gentle breeze, the sound of the ocean surf, the feel of the young man in his arms...

They stood that way for a time, how long Roy didn't know, and as they kissed, the sun disappeared behind the horizon marking the end of the day for the world. Yet, for them, it was the beginning of a new day, and the continuation of something started long ago...

**- The End - **

--

Okay, so, the challenge called for 7 chapters (or stages), and as you can see, I just put 'The End' up there. Well, this is where I would end this story if I was not writing it for a challenge. However, since I do need 7 chapters to fulfill the challenge, the last one will be an epilogue. I have a few ideas of what I want to do with that, but I haven't decided as of yet. Therefore, I cannot guarantee exactly _when_ the epilogue will be posted.

Two of the ideas would close off the story with a definite Roy/Al ending, while the other ending I'm considering would lead into a Roy/Al—Roy/Ed (not Roy/Ed/Al...as in Roy would have a relationship with Al and Ed but Al and Ed woudln't have one like that with each other... eh... does that make sense?) 'ending'. With the last choice, I might let it lead into a sequel that would be a Roy/Al—Roy/Ed. So anyway, those are the things that I'm thinking about, but I don't want to be rushed into anything, so it could be quite a while, quite a _long_ while, before I post the epilogue.

I will be sure to label the epilogue appropriately in case I do decide on the Roy/Al—Roy/Ed for those Roy/Al fans who might not wish to read that and just let the story finish here.

SO, anyway... **as far as I'm concerned, this is the end of the story**, and I'm going to treat it as such. Much thanks to all of those who have been supportive of this story. I really enjoyed writing it.

I've uploaded a song ('Eurydice' by Sleepthief) to MegaUpload that I consider to be the soundtrack to this story. It fit so perfectly that I nearly died the first time I heard it. It can be found in my profile.


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